Something, something, poetry…

It’s been awhile since I’ve written a blog, I know. I know. If you are reading this from Twitter, hello! I’m doing well, I hope you’re well too. My blog automatically posts to my Twitter, I’ll be back there eventually, I promise. I’m going to try to update here every now and then, and you can also find me on Instagram where I’ll be more active. Fair warning, my Instagram is mostly witch stuff. Anyway, here’s a little rambling update on a current project.

I am working on a poetry collection. I’m currently still writing poems for it. I wrote one this morning, and used the word fuck in it. It felt uncomfortably raw and honest. I read through the poems I had already written and I realized that I have been watering down my poetry. I haven’t been writing it the way I want to, the way I need to. It’s hard to create something you want to share and not care whether people like it or not. I will most likely self publish this poetry book, and it will be the first thing I have created that I will sell. And so it seems, I’ve been curating my poems so that they are more palatable for more people. But that’s not why I’m making this collection, that not why I want to publish it. My intentions are purely selfish. It is going to be more of me than I have shared publicly before and that’s a little scary. I couldn’t care less about whether it sells well or not. I have always felt uncomfortable selling any of my art in its many forms, because everything I create is very personal. It takes me a long time to make something, I ebb and flow with my creative bursts. I cannot force myself to create. I couldn’t do it in in college, studying art. I had a horrible time trying to finish projects and assignments when I wasn’t in my creative zone. Deadlines and expectations for art made me not want to make art. It’s similar to my last blog post, not creating and writing for myself, becomes overwhelming and I develop a distain for all my creations. So I’m just going to write my poetry how I want, finish up the collection and send it out into the world so that it may do whatever it wants to do with it. I’m not saying that selling your artwork is bad, it’s not, sell your art and pay your artists for their work. It’s just not a path for me and I am working on accepting that it’s going to be a part of this project. If I had the means to just print the book myself and not have to worry about the cost of it, I would just give it away. But I can’t do that, so I am grappling with authentically making something and then presenting it to the world with monetary value attached to it. Maybe it’s hard, because this will be my first time doing it. Maybe that’s all this is. I’m not a salesperson and I don’t want to be. But even then, I have to create the things I want to create, and how I want to create them. Because at the end of it all, the creating, doing the work to bring something from my mind into existence so that I can share it, is the point. I love sharing things, pictures, art, poetry, food and drink, laughter and everything else. If I can’t share something, even just with my loved ones, I don’t want it. The sharing of this poetry book, is going to look different, it feels different, than the way I usually share. I am not sure yet if I will like it or not. I am almost certain I won’t publish another book in any genre after this one, but I hope to share this one with you all soon.

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Mom, wife, artist, writer and witchy woman

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