This thing happened a couple weeks ago, it felt like I broke open. I had been writing a blog post about it but then yesterday I was compelled to Tweet about it, you can read it here if you want. Warning: it’s a long thread. https://twitter.com/rekashun/status/1410329635850575872?s=20. I decided this morning that I wouldn’t talk more about that. To the point then.
I am putting writing aside. This breakdown or breakthrough I had made me see that I no longer enjoy writing, I haven’t since I wrote Elizabeth. Everything since then I feel like I’ve forced, I don’t know, to keep up with the idea that I’m a writer? I am putting all my stories aside, I don’t know if it’ll be forever or just a couple months. I don’t know that part. I know that I am not really a writer, not a storyteller in the way that I was trying to be.
I am poet.
I didn’t start trying to write stories until I wrote Song in The Woods, which would have been a very good story if I’d known what I was doing. So I’m not technically putting all writing aside. I will most likely not finish Willow, I was forcing it so hard that I became unable to write anything. I’m sorry if you were hoping for an ending to it, I don’t know how it ends.
Over the past couple weeks I have started working on a poetry collection. I don’t have a timeline for when it will be done. But when it is, I promise to share it will you all. I am also considering donating any royalties I make from it. Either all or a large percentage, I haven’t decided yet. Because, even though I had been working on something I was hoping to publish, the making a living from it part, was never a goal of mine. I just wanted to share stories. My mother is always telling me that I should write children’s books because I could make a living from it, and she’s right, I could work toward that and very possibly do well. But it deters me from wanting to do it. I would make a terrible business owner because 1) I have tried selling things, I am very bad at it. 2) I would just constantly be giving things away and would probably go out of business. But if I see that I am able to make a living from my poetry, then I will do just a percentage, because taking care of my family is a little more important. I would much prefer to sell my artwork, my weaving, my photography. And I am finally going to work towards that, creating and picking pieces, figuring out how to do it (Etsy, my own site? Recommendations are welcome). And yes I will be donating some of what I make from my artwork, but a smaller percentage than with the poetry. Because I was first and will always be an artist. Please forgive me if I have disappointed you by this, that is not my intention. I started as a poet, and it’s time I go back being a poet.
And no, I’m sorry drunk poetry will not be returning to Twitter.