I have recently been trying to become more aware of when something makes me feel uncomfortable and a large part of being aware of it, is allowing it. I don’t mean being uncomfortable in a physical way, just emotional. To give an example, being out in public with my children and they are running, or screaming or whatever it is. And just stopping and acknowledging the feelings of discomfort that it might bring me. By paying attention to the uncomfortable feeling, I can then question it and find where it is really coming from. Am I uncomfortable with my children screaming? No. Am I uncomfortable with possible judgmental looks from other people? Yes. Are there people giving me judgmental looks? Usually no. But the possibility of that happening is what is making me uncomfortable.
More often than not, the true reason I am feeling uncomfortable has nothing to do with what is happening in the moment. For me, being uncomfortable almost always stems from something that might happen or just thinking that I will be uncomfortable (such as going to an event where there will be lots of people). So lately I have been trying to invite that uncomfortable feeling about a possibility in. Allowing it to be there and not making decisions based off of it. Just knowing that this is how I feel in this moment, I might not actually be uncomfortable in the next moment. I can’t actually know, because the next moment hasn’t happened yet.
And then there are the things that make me feel uncomfortable because I think whatever is happening should be a different way. Just thinking that something isn’t the way it should be usually makes me very uncomfortable. Realizing that my discomfort is coming from a place of “should” and accepting what is, has been a way that I have been inviting that uncomfortableness in. By accepting, I don’t mean being passive or agreeing, I can accept something as it is in this moment and still not like it.
What might happen, what should be happening, are the main sources of where my feelings of being uncomfortable come from. I am working on sitting with those feelings and thoughts and just inviting them in instead of immediately trying to fix them. And if there is an actual way to fix whatever it is, I will. But if there isn’t, I am working on accepting that.