Starry skies and lavender fields fill my eyes while I sleep. When I was sleeping I dreamt of the baby. There was once a girl I knew, she flew away and landed on the moon. She sent me signs from the sky, clouds shaped like hearts and tears like the rain. I wonder sometimes if the lavender is still in bloom. But the soil is frozen and I can’t dig the hole. The shovel bent and broken, I’ll just use my hands. I’ll plant the wildflowers in the shade, and hope the birds don’t eat them. I’ll find you again in the sun, we’ll meet there by the old house. It stands tall with stripping paint, no longer blue but gray. The once white walls now stained from the last cigarette he smoked. We burned down the shed and left the ashes on the porch. I can’t raise you and I won’t try. The silence keeps me still. We’re half way there, touching the sun. Finding god laying on the floor. When they said we were too early, we were too late. I have been waiting for so long, I have forgotten what I have been waiting for. But life goes on in the land of dreams. I want to try it your way this time. I want to feel like you do and love like fire, you stood out in the rain and I danced over you as you melted into the mud.